Activity #9
The issue of “Same Sex Marriages” is a very heated argument in our society today. The arguments for and against it both make very good points and have great facts to back up their position. This issue has been in all of the states of the United States court systems to try and legalize it or ban it from their state, along with many countries. The biggest of the arguments for and against this issue have to do with children and how this type of marriage affects them. Besides this, there are many other points that each side makes to ensure that their position is the better one.
For the side against same sex marriages, the readings for this activity gave some very good issues that help with this side of the debate. One of these arguments is defining the institution of marriage. When dealing with marriage, there are laws prohibiting marriage of a child and an adult, an adult and his/her parent, or to roommates with no sexual relationship. By allowing the few people who are the same sex to marry, it opens doors to many other sticky situations concerning the laws that I just mentioned. By allowing this one thing, many other issues could come up with marriages between other such “non man-women” marriages and could taint the long lived institution of marriage. Another argument against same sex marriages has to do with children. If you allow same sex marriages, it will start to become a problem with adoption. This will lead to more and more children growing up without a mother or father, due to the fact that, according to Peter Sprigg, most homosexual relationships do not last longer than 2 years. Therefore, when the couple splits, custody is an issue they have to now deal with. Also, of the relationships that do last, studies show that children raised by lesbians are less likely to fit in, more likely to become homosexuals themselves, and are more sexually adventurous. These arguments are some of the top arguments that are used by people against homosexual relationships that want to marry.
Though there are many arguments that are against same sex marriages, there was a huge study done by Lawrence A. Kurdek that made many important findings. He studied how homosexual couples and heterosexual couples stay together and why. He also studies both kinds of couples with children and without. In all of the broad topics that he studied his findings were clear. In lesbian and gay couples, there was no added stress in the relationship. There was also no difference of problem solving in their relationship then in a heterosexual relationship. The only study that had a difference in it from homo to heterosexuality was in that gay and lesbian couples got less support from their family. With this added conflict, some couples do not stay together as long.
My take on this issue is kind of split. I do believe that gay and lesbians should be able to live how they want. They should be able to express their love to whoever they want, and as we have studied in previous chapters, gender is just a perspective right? So I do believe any relationship is a valid one. But I do not believe that homosexuals should be able to marry. I understand some of the arguments given by Kurdek in his study but I also more strongly feel for the ones against such an act. I, imparticular, agree with the fact that not only is it hard for children who are adopted by gay or lesbian couples, but if such a relationship were to break up, it is so hard for children to overcome and cope with divorce. And since the “divorce” rate is higher in homosexuals, why make it legal for them to marry in the first place when most end in them splitting up?
Monday, November 5, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
CRJ #9
1) In the reading, “Only Daughter” by Sandra Cisneros (#60), it gives an account of the author’s life, family situation, education, and career. Cisneros shares with us that she is an only daughter in a Mexican family. In her family, her dad actually believed that going to college was a good thing for her to do to get an education, but more importantly, to find a husband. When Cisneros finished her 6 years of college, she came away with an English major, but no husband, and to her father, it was as if she had wasted those 6 years. From then on, every book she wrote, article she published, and every class she taught she did to try and make her father proud of her. She didn’t want to be just another one of the “siete hijos” in which her father called his children to others. (This translated to seven sons). This reading not only showed how women are still looked at as being a home maker and that is it, but it also shares how having sons is more valued than daughters. Since men hold more power than women, fathers are always proud to have boys because they will grow up to be smart, have a family, and carry on the family name. They are the ones that carry the “power” down to generations to come.
2) In the reading, “The Myth of a Perfect Mother” by Judith Warner (#55), Warner gives a personal account of her life as a mom. She describes how as her daughter grew up she wanted (and was) the perfect mother to her; getting up early for feeding, giving praise, doing crafts, and the list goes on. She started to not be able to function at work as well because of her late nights and busy schedule, but that didn’t matter because she was the best mom ever. She finally realized that many other women today were going through the exact same thing. They were becoming obsessed with being the ideal mom and were not as concerned about how their own lives went. I believe that this account of her life and her talking to many other moms about the exact same thing happening to them, is kind of a wake up call to all women who want to pursue a life with a career, family, and being a mother. We have to learn to prioritize and make sure to not only be a good mother, but also know that we still have to make a good life for ourselves and not diminish our pride by becoming the “mom,” which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, we just have to make sure and keep our individual identities as well.
3) In the reading, “Marriage and Love” b y Emma Goldman (#53), marriage and love are described as being antagonistic. Goldman believes and writes about how love is possible in marriage, but marriage is just an economic bond that is society driven. It is what is expected to do if you do fall in love, when in reality, many people “in love” who get married just seem to “fall out of love” or grow farther apart when they do get married. Then she says that the ones who get married before falling in love do not ever actually fall in love, but rather get comfortable with the person enough to live with them. They get in a routine. I believe this reading to be very true. I do believe that marriage many times does make love harder due to the new economic dependencies and stressful situations that marriage entales, including things such as new bills, the power struggle between the husband and wife, the sexual side of marriage, and the children issue. All these things are what drive many marriages to divorce and though today, the divorce rate is as high as ever, I still believe that there are still marriages that do still include love and passion, as rare as it is to find it, I believe it is still out there.
2) In the reading, “The Myth of a Perfect Mother” by Judith Warner (#55), Warner gives a personal account of her life as a mom. She describes how as her daughter grew up she wanted (and was) the perfect mother to her; getting up early for feeding, giving praise, doing crafts, and the list goes on. She started to not be able to function at work as well because of her late nights and busy schedule, but that didn’t matter because she was the best mom ever. She finally realized that many other women today were going through the exact same thing. They were becoming obsessed with being the ideal mom and were not as concerned about how their own lives went. I believe that this account of her life and her talking to many other moms about the exact same thing happening to them, is kind of a wake up call to all women who want to pursue a life with a career, family, and being a mother. We have to learn to prioritize and make sure to not only be a good mother, but also know that we still have to make a good life for ourselves and not diminish our pride by becoming the “mom,” which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, we just have to make sure and keep our individual identities as well.
3) In the reading, “Marriage and Love” b y Emma Goldman (#53), marriage and love are described as being antagonistic. Goldman believes and writes about how love is possible in marriage, but marriage is just an economic bond that is society driven. It is what is expected to do if you do fall in love, when in reality, many people “in love” who get married just seem to “fall out of love” or grow farther apart when they do get married. Then she says that the ones who get married before falling in love do not ever actually fall in love, but rather get comfortable with the person enough to live with them. They get in a routine. I believe this reading to be very true. I do believe that marriage many times does make love harder due to the new economic dependencies and stressful situations that marriage entales, including things such as new bills, the power struggle between the husband and wife, the sexual side of marriage, and the children issue. All these things are what drive many marriages to divorce and though today, the divorce rate is as high as ever, I still believe that there are still marriages that do still include love and passion, as rare as it is to find it, I believe it is still out there.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
CRJ #8
When you think of sexual violence, you first have to think about the construction of gender, because they go hand in hand. Gender is who you identify yourself as, feminine or masculent. Both of these come with different stereotypes and certain ways you are suppose to be. If you are male, you are suppose to be superior, strong, and more powerful than a women. If you are a female, you are suppose to be weaker and under the “power” of men. In terms of sexual violence, women are much more likely to become victims of this kind of harassment. From stalking to rape to physical abuse, women are continuously the primary victims across the board. This trend is due to power relationships. Due to the fact that male’s see themselves as more powerful than women, they believe that by committing acts of sexual violence on a women they have power over them and they enjoy the feeling of that power. They also have grown up in a society in which violence is made to be normal in the way that it is portrayed in video games and movies. Another reason is that men are taught to be tough and not show emotion. Not only does this make it understandable that men are the ones being violent because it is a sign of power and being strong, but it also bring up another problem. Even though statistics show that women have been and continue to be the victims in these kinds of violent acts, that doesn’t necessarily mean that that statistic is one hundred percent true. Since not showing emotion and not showing weakness is suppose to be masculent, it is also possible that if men were victims of violent sexual abuse, they probably would not report it or tell anyone about it. By doing this they are showing that they are weak and someone else had a power over them, and to a male, that is being defeated and they could be considered a “sissy.” Therefore, the statistic is higher on the women’s side because if a male was a victim of sexual violence, it is highly unlikely that they report it and instead, just keep it to themselves.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Activity #8
Activity #8
After first reading and then talking to people, I surprised me how much I, and the people that I talked to, didn’t know about violence against women. I always knew such violence existed but I never knew how prevalent it was. The statistics that were giving in the book were very surprising to me, and others. When starting my conversations with people, I shared with them the many statistics. A few such statistics were that ever 2 minutes in the U.S., a sexual assault is reported and “approximately 56 women are victimized in some why by an intimate partner every hour.” Another one is that one in five highschool girls report being sexually or physically abused by their boyfriend. I also told them that one in three women will experience sexual assault at one point in their life, and of the women who are sexually assaulted 9 in 10 knew their the person who assaulted them. When it comes to physical abuse, women are 5 to 8 times more likely to be a victim than men are.
After telling the people I was interviewing these things, I talked to them about how they thought about it. The overall response I got was that they did not know how bad this kind of violence really was today, especially the men that I interviewed. The women I spoke to I guess knew that kind of stuff goes on but the statistics surprised them. None of them had any personal stories to tell about this topic. They think the cause of violence against women is the fact that men are usually seen as the “dominant” gender and the reason violence against women is so much higher than against men is because violence and sexual assault is about being dominant over someone else and having power. Therefore, females are an easy target. The general response across the board to what we can do to help eliminate this is to inform people and educate people about it, then let people know where they can go to get help if they need it. Overall, my response is the same as everyone I interviewed: surprised by the statistics because I did not realize the severity of this problem today. I believe that this kind of information should be a lot more places so as to educate other people and to let people know that there is help out there. We need to bring this problem to a stop before it gets any worse.
After first reading and then talking to people, I surprised me how much I, and the people that I talked to, didn’t know about violence against women. I always knew such violence existed but I never knew how prevalent it was. The statistics that were giving in the book were very surprising to me, and others. When starting my conversations with people, I shared with them the many statistics. A few such statistics were that ever 2 minutes in the U.S., a sexual assault is reported and “approximately 56 women are victimized in some why by an intimate partner every hour.” Another one is that one in five highschool girls report being sexually or physically abused by their boyfriend. I also told them that one in three women will experience sexual assault at one point in their life, and of the women who are sexually assaulted 9 in 10 knew their the person who assaulted them. When it comes to physical abuse, women are 5 to 8 times more likely to be a victim than men are.
After telling the people I was interviewing these things, I talked to them about how they thought about it. The overall response I got was that they did not know how bad this kind of violence really was today, especially the men that I interviewed. The women I spoke to I guess knew that kind of stuff goes on but the statistics surprised them. None of them had any personal stories to tell about this topic. They think the cause of violence against women is the fact that men are usually seen as the “dominant” gender and the reason violence against women is so much higher than against men is because violence and sexual assault is about being dominant over someone else and having power. Therefore, females are an easy target. The general response across the board to what we can do to help eliminate this is to inform people and educate people about it, then let people know where they can go to get help if they need it. Overall, my response is the same as everyone I interviewed: surprised by the statistics because I did not realize the severity of this problem today. I believe that this kind of information should be a lot more places so as to educate other people and to let people know that there is help out there. We need to bring this problem to a stop before it gets any worse.
Monday, October 15, 2007
CRJ #7
CRJ #7
When I read Margaret Sanger’s experience with Mrs. Sacks it really made me realize how hard it was back before women had many rights or contraceptive rights. Sanger was a nurse and one night was called in to take care of a patient at a house. The patient was Mrs. Sacks. She had tried to give herself an abortion and was found on the floor almost dead. After weeks of recovery, she finally became better. When she was able to talk to the doctor and Sanger when she was well she asked them what she could do to keep from getting pregnant again. The doctor, being a male, just laughed at her and told her all she could do was, “… Tell Jake to sleep on the roof!” This made her so upset and made Sanger realize how unfair not having the opportunity to choose to take contraceptives or not was. Months went by and Sanger received another phone call from the same family. She immediately went to their house only to find the same thing had happened, except this time, Mrs. Sacks had died. From that point on, Sanger vowed to stop being a nurse and stop curing “superficial things.” Instead, she was going to get the word out about women’s choices about contraceptives. She was going to get the information out there and make sure everyone women would one day have a choice in this matter. She wanted to make sure that incidents like what happened to Mrs. Sacks did not happen to anymore women and that no children were neglected due to overcrowded families. Sanger ended up being very successful in “being heard.” Today she is seen as one of the major feminists in the feminists movement. Today, I believe she would think that we have made great strides in contraceptive use and that women have much more say in how they chose to live sexually. Though I’m sure there are many more things to come, our society has virtually accepted the thought of contraceptive use and women’s rights.
When I read Margaret Sanger’s experience with Mrs. Sacks it really made me realize how hard it was back before women had many rights or contraceptive rights. Sanger was a nurse and one night was called in to take care of a patient at a house. The patient was Mrs. Sacks. She had tried to give herself an abortion and was found on the floor almost dead. After weeks of recovery, she finally became better. When she was able to talk to the doctor and Sanger when she was well she asked them what she could do to keep from getting pregnant again. The doctor, being a male, just laughed at her and told her all she could do was, “… Tell Jake to sleep on the roof!” This made her so upset and made Sanger realize how unfair not having the opportunity to choose to take contraceptives or not was. Months went by and Sanger received another phone call from the same family. She immediately went to their house only to find the same thing had happened, except this time, Mrs. Sacks had died. From that point on, Sanger vowed to stop being a nurse and stop curing “superficial things.” Instead, she was going to get the word out about women’s choices about contraceptives. She was going to get the information out there and make sure everyone women would one day have a choice in this matter. She wanted to make sure that incidents like what happened to Mrs. Sacks did not happen to anymore women and that no children were neglected due to overcrowded families. Sanger ended up being very successful in “being heard.” Today she is seen as one of the major feminists in the feminists movement. Today, I believe she would think that we have made great strides in contraceptive use and that women have much more say in how they chose to live sexually. Though I’m sure there are many more things to come, our society has virtually accepted the thought of contraceptive use and women’s rights.
Friday, October 12, 2007
CRJ #6
#3. I believe that the sexualization of women’s bodies does vary by race. In white women, being rail thin with large breasts is desired. With African American women, a lot of times curves and thicker women with large buttocks are desired. Girls who are white have a very distorted body image and it was thought that African American and Latino women did not have those same problems. In recent studies though, it was found that African American women’s purging and laxative use is related very closely with white women, but that Latino’s still had a much better beauty aesthetic than did any other race. My experience with the politics of beauty is that there is much more out there that can possibly distort a white women’s view of her body. There is some for African Americans and not as much for Latinos. I believe that it is a very good clue as to why Latinos do not have as much of a distorted image as whites do and I think that should be a good hint for society and we should strive to fix this major problem.
#1. Disciplinary beauty practices are trivial routines, rules, and practices that we engage in to maintain our body. A few examples are shaving legs, applying makeup, and curling/straightening/coloring hair. The media does a great job of constructing the female body by using perfect women in their ads and even digitally altering them at times to make them look even more perfect. I believe that the possible consequences for women of reality shows is that seeing as that they are on tv, they feel like they have to always look perfect and be perfect. They have all of their disciplinary practices shown on tv and have to make sure they are always looking good. This is related to the development of consumerism and global capitalism because I’m sure the products and things that these women use on the show has a higher sell rate at stores due to the fact that they are publisized and used by these reality show women.
#2. I think the ideal woman’s body is skinny, large breasts, tall, tan, perfect skin, and long legs. I think the ideal man’s body is tall, muscular, and tan. Power relations are reflected and reinforced in beauty and body norms in the fact that most world leader and big people in media are somewhat attractive and have a “normal” body. I believe that beauty and body norms affect men and women differently because even though men have body norms, I believe that they are usually still accepted even if they are somewhat not the norm where as women who don’t match it are immediately looked at differently. It makes me look at my body differently because it makes me feel like I have to have a perfect body to be successful in society.
#1. Disciplinary beauty practices are trivial routines, rules, and practices that we engage in to maintain our body. A few examples are shaving legs, applying makeup, and curling/straightening/coloring hair. The media does a great job of constructing the female body by using perfect women in their ads and even digitally altering them at times to make them look even more perfect. I believe that the possible consequences for women of reality shows is that seeing as that they are on tv, they feel like they have to always look perfect and be perfect. They have all of their disciplinary practices shown on tv and have to make sure they are always looking good. This is related to the development of consumerism and global capitalism because I’m sure the products and things that these women use on the show has a higher sell rate at stores due to the fact that they are publisized and used by these reality show women.
#2. I think the ideal woman’s body is skinny, large breasts, tall, tan, perfect skin, and long legs. I think the ideal man’s body is tall, muscular, and tan. Power relations are reflected and reinforced in beauty and body norms in the fact that most world leader and big people in media are somewhat attractive and have a “normal” body. I believe that beauty and body norms affect men and women differently because even though men have body norms, I believe that they are usually still accepted even if they are somewhat not the norm where as women who don’t match it are immediately looked at differently. It makes me look at my body differently because it makes me feel like I have to have a perfect body to be successful in society.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
"Killing us softly"
Killing Us Softly Response:
Not only do advertisements sell products but according to the speaker, they also sell value, images, concepts of love and sexuality, romance, success, and normalcy (who we are and who we should be). Advertisements tell us how we should look as a women including being flawless, beautiful, and skinny. They speaker says we should care about gender messaging because if we do not then we loose our ability to have authentic and freely chosen lives because we are so caught up in what we are “suppose” to look like or “suppose” to do.
Dove Response:
The films’ message about the feminine beauty idea is that our idea of what beauty is is very distorted because all the women that we look at in ads and such have all had un natural things done. Whether it be plastic surgery, an eating disorder, or even computer alterations after a photo, these are not the pictures and women that we should strive to look like. The reason our ideas have indeed become distorted is because the media do not tell us that these women are not “real” or natural. We believe that they are just born that way and ask ourselves why we cant be like that and then begin to actually think we can by telling ourselves, “well if she can do it, then so can I.”
Choose an AD:
I chose an ad that I found online. It is a beautiful women on a silk bed dressed in a tiny beautiful dress. She has a bullet hole in her head and the caption above her says “Beautifully Executed.” This advertisement is selling a game called “Hit Man- Blood Money” for the gaming systems. Not only is this selling the product but it is also downplaying women. It is once again showing the ideal beauty and how women should look all the time. Also, it is showing women being worth less than men because to me, since they chose a women for the ad to be the one that got shot, it makes me believe that they think that women aren’t as strong as men and are more of damsels in distress, as do many other video games.
Personal Response:
I believe that after seeing these films and looking up ads it brings my attention to what all ads do also sell. I think we become very desensitized to this because we see it so often. I didn’t even realize how bad it was until these films point it out, along with looking at studying other ads that I found.
Not only do advertisements sell products but according to the speaker, they also sell value, images, concepts of love and sexuality, romance, success, and normalcy (who we are and who we should be). Advertisements tell us how we should look as a women including being flawless, beautiful, and skinny. They speaker says we should care about gender messaging because if we do not then we loose our ability to have authentic and freely chosen lives because we are so caught up in what we are “suppose” to look like or “suppose” to do.
Dove Response:
The films’ message about the feminine beauty idea is that our idea of what beauty is is very distorted because all the women that we look at in ads and such have all had un natural things done. Whether it be plastic surgery, an eating disorder, or even computer alterations after a photo, these are not the pictures and women that we should strive to look like. The reason our ideas have indeed become distorted is because the media do not tell us that these women are not “real” or natural. We believe that they are just born that way and ask ourselves why we cant be like that and then begin to actually think we can by telling ourselves, “well if she can do it, then so can I.”
Choose an AD:
I chose an ad that I found online. It is a beautiful women on a silk bed dressed in a tiny beautiful dress. She has a bullet hole in her head and the caption above her says “Beautifully Executed.” This advertisement is selling a game called “Hit Man- Blood Money” for the gaming systems. Not only is this selling the product but it is also downplaying women. It is once again showing the ideal beauty and how women should look all the time. Also, it is showing women being worth less than men because to me, since they chose a women for the ad to be the one that got shot, it makes me believe that they think that women aren’t as strong as men and are more of damsels in distress, as do many other video games.
Personal Response:
I believe that after seeing these films and looking up ads it brings my attention to what all ads do also sell. I think we become very desensitized to this because we see it so often. I didn’t even realize how bad it was until these films point it out, along with looking at studying other ads that I found.
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